Learning how to work with shy children is an important skill for educators. Many children display shyness at various stages of their development and may become uncomfortable in new social situations. However, a child who has repeatedly been referred to as shy by parents, relatives and educators or who consistently withdraws in social situations will require special attention from teachers in a classroom. Here are some strategies for working with shy children.
Steps
1. Observe situations that cause shyness in children:
A child may feel unsafe in a social situation due to ridicule or mistreatment from others. Situations that require children to perform in front of or be evaluated by their peers can cause them to feel self-conscious. Social situations for which a child does not have the words, such as greeting an adult who is asking difficult questions, also may cause children to react with shyness.
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2. Avoid labeling children as shy:
Children can become deeply identified with the shy label and introduce themselves as such to others. This only reinforces the shy behavior, and may cause other people to leave the child alone for fear of causing discomfort.
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3. Develop a social development plan:
Sit down with shy children one-on-one on a regular basis to discuss social goals. Ask shy children about their feelings and the social activities that they would ideally like to engage in. Based on their responses, create a set of social goals that you can revisit together on a regular basis.
- Encourage the development of interests. Find out the child's interests and create opportunities for strengthening skills. For example, a shy child who loves to play soccer can be encouraged to try out for the soccer team. While actively engaged in the sport, the child will naturally interact with team members and build friendships.
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4. Allow shy children to speak for themselves:
While it's important to protect children from ridicule, if they are asked questions by their peers, other teachers or administrators, refrain from speaking on their behalf. Allow them to speak for themselves.
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5. Remind shy children of their positive qualities:
This is particularly important for shy children who lack confidence in their skills and abilities. Ask them to create a list of their positive strengths and to read the list daily.
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6. Decrease social withdrawal using deliberate pairings:
Pair a shy child with one who is socially at ease for class projects. The more socially engaged child can help to draw out the shy child's personality and encourage the development of friendships with others.
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7. Assign seats in the classroom:
Place shy children near friendly and outgoing classmates.
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8. Avoid embarrassing shy children:
Some children are scared of social interaction and public humiliation because they have been ridiculed in the past. If students are required to make public presentations, pay special attention to the shy child and reduce anxiety by offering presentation guidance.
- Speak to shy children privately. If the child has broken a rule or is exhibiting anxiety, refrain from calling attention to the child in a group environment. Pull the child aside after class to correct behaviors and offer guidance in a one-on-one conversation.
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